We all know Einstein’s thoughts about insanity – dating inevitably is one in the same. We go from bar to bar, look for the one sporting a beanie and a great smile, and still expect different results. Insanity, meet our city of Buffalo.
Let’s take the beer goggles off for a bit. Imagine shots and pints weren’t the factors leading up to talking to that guy or girl. Do you know what or whom you’re looking for now? In the daylight, do you realize that she’s probably your sister’s best friend?
Buffalonians have this as both an advantage and a disadvantage: everyone knows everyone. We live in a city with 2 degrees of separation between every millennial and politician [though we don’t always reap the benefits of it]. The formula is simple; either you’ve been-there-done-that or your roommate knows the one that has. Word travels faster than the NFTA, we know this very well.
In spite of all of this, it somehow also gives us the upper hand after that swift backhand. It is so simple for us to get our own personal background checks. Going hand-in-hand with this era of Instagram scrolling and ruffling through tweets, it might be much easier for you to ask your best friend about the one you met last Saturday night. You may take this reliability with a grain of salt, but in a matter of minutes, you’ll probably find out that they have a cat, a deep affinity for The Stones, and that they like to take pictures of their morning coffee. Your mom told you to never judge a book by it’s cover, so at least you can say you tried to skim below the surface with an ‘ask-around’.
These friendly pass-on’s of intel can either beam with compliments or reek of slander. At the very least, you’ve done your homework. It is this way for both men and women: these hamster wheels of tell all’s and tales. What it comes down to is this: be the person that delves deeper. You already have the ringing in your ear, but break the Buffalo cycle of, “Oh, no I heard he was talking to her last year” and figure it out for yourself. Find your signature drink, spot, and stool. Be the girl that when talking to his friends mentions you as the one, “taking pickle-backs that was having so much fun.” Do this and she’ll find you, regardless. If all else fails, try the Missed Connections. People grow, change, and adapt, and let’s face it, you’d want the same optimistic view to be graced upon you as well. Stories often run stale so make an impression, introduce yourself, and don’t be an ass.
Buffalo: embrace our dating insanity. We drive by these wedding photo shoots all the time – the end result really does exist.