It’s always uplifting when we see people stick their necks out for what’s right, especially when they play for the other team. 

We should all be playing for Team Humanity. But that sort of utopian thinking is usually met with a loud, catty, “Surrender, Dorothy,” and perhaps rightfully so. Still, when Georgia governor Nathan Deal vetoed HB 757, it illuminated what’s really wrong with the majority of right-wing thinking about what I’ve come to call Tinklegate. 

“As I’ve said before, I do not think we have to discriminate against anyone to protect the faith based community in Georgia of which my family and I are a part of for all of our lives,” Deal said in a statement about his decision. “Our actions on HB 757 are not just about protecting the faith-based community or providing a business-friendly climate for job growth in Georgia. This is about the character of our State and the character of its people.”

You’re damn right it is, Nate. His inclusive tone nailed it: We needn’t rule one thing out in order to protect the other. And it must be noted that Nathan Deal is a Southern Baptist as well as a Republican. 

Granted, part of the reason things went the way they did in Georgia is because the right people got to Deal in time. Was he pressured? Indeed he was. The Atlanta Convention and Business Bureau heard from no less than 16 corporations planning conventions in the state that would take their business elsewhere should HB757 get signed into law. Time Warner, Viacom, Disney, and AMC all weighed in similarly. Naturally, LGBTQ organizations also leveraged what they could. 

Pressure or no pressure, Deal made his views on the topic pretty clear weeks earlier, using logic that goes above and beyond the state’s fiscal bottom line. 

“What the New Testament teaches us is that Jesus reached out to those who were considered the outcasts, the ones that did not conform to the religious societies’ view of the world…We do not have a belief in my way of looking at religion that says we have to discriminate against anybody. If you were to apply those standards to the teaching of Jesus, I don’t think they fit.”

Compared with the din of folks yelling “Foul!” over North Carolina and Mississippi, however, we didn’t hear a whole lot about this noteworthy development. I guess it’s just no fun anymore to give credit for a job well done. 

Especially not when there’s so much left to complain about. Tinklegate continues to astound. Last week, scrolling through my Facebook feed, I was taken aback by the wording of a report about Oxford, Alabama. In a link to an article at the Occupy Democrats website, the heading read, “Pee At Home: Alabama City Bans Trans People From Using ALL Public Bathrooms.” 

So, this is a tad misleading. According to the article, trans folks would still be able to use the bathroom that matches whatever sex is noted on their birth certificate. The headline skips over this detail, making it sound like an alarm will go off somewhere if your equipment doesn’t match that associated with the stick figure on the bathroom door. However awful, it conjures some amusing thoughts. When you drive over the border into Oxford, does an officer greet you at your vehicle with an adult-sized pull-up and a kidney shaped urine bottle? “It’s your choice,” they might tell you, being careful not to use any pronouns. “But most people just go with the diaper since it’s all inclusive. That way, you’re covered, you know? And they’re super absorbent with multiple layers of quilting, I mean…you can really let go in one of these. Enjoy your stay in Oxford!”

Above and beyond the misleading headline, though, are the consequences revealed in the article. The Oxford, Alabama law is the first to specify a punishment: a $500 fine or six months in the pokey if you are caught relieving yourself in whichever facility doesn’t match your physicality. Tinklegate just got mighty expensive. 

Who will enforce this law, and just how will they go about doing it? I am reminded of South Park’s Season 16 premiere, in which the TSA (Toilet Safety Administration) begins confronting people in public restrooms (and at home!) about proper use of the facilities. Flashlights are used to examine crevices, gloved attendants in uniforms administer additional wiping when deemed necessary, etc. Is this what lies up ahead—demanding people to expose their genitals for ‘specially trained’ officers at the restroom entrance? And what if you refuse… does an assault ensue? When you play the tape all the way through, the possibilities are unimaginably humiliating. 

It stinks of “Get to the back of the bus.” Have we really progressed so little in over a half-century? I find myself wondering if this is all a joke designed to distract democrats from the impending election, wearing us down so that folks like Drumpf and Cruz (who, by the way, thinks trans folks should take care of all bathroom needs before leaving the house…so big of him to still allow them the right to venture out, ay?) can slither into office. Stranger things have happened. 

Believe me, I’d rather write about something else. But as Tinklegate continues to permeate social media (and, in turn, our national consciousness), it demands more examination. We seem to keep getting caught with our pants down in states where we’re not actively represented in government. Sometimes allies just aren’t enough. Let’s face it, if they’re not living with the reality of somehow being part of the LGBTQ community, they don’t really understand. And therefore, they’re too susceptible to outer pressures. Conformity still reigns supreme.

We need more of our own people seated in government, spread out more evenly through the country if we have a chance at nipping these euphemistically titled ‘religious freedom acts’ in the bud. Not that we couldn’t figure that out on our own, but a study published recently Victory Fund and Institute breaks down the numbers in ways that really illuminate how having more of our own in office makes the difference. Their site also introduces candidates we might want to consider—a handy tool for those unable (or unwilling) to wade through all the other information to find folks that can be counted on to have our best interests at heart. Check them out at www.victoryfund.org. They may hold the key to the future of restroom politics.